Welcome to life in the freakshow. Wake up. Get dressed. Go to school. Day after day. 9 till 3. Monday to Friday. Know the feeling? And it gets even better when your daily grind also involves being treated like a joke. Being abused and harassed and treated like a thing instead of a person. Sound like fun?

If I make fun of black people, it’s racism. So I can’t call them niggers, that would be oppression. Tease girls and I’m a misogynist, so calling them sluts is out of the question, wouldn’t want to be racist. And I can’t call the disabled kids retarded. Heavens no, got to be PC.

But I get called faggot and cocksucker on a daily basis and you get away with it. How is this funny? How is this fair?

Newsflash assholes, I’m not here for your entertainment. I’m not here for you to score cheap potshots off of to make you and your MENSA buddies giggle. Does it really make you feel better about yourself to put me down? Boost your insecure masculinity to put down the fag? Does it make you feel like a man?

How about if you make fun of me for being male? Breathing oxygen? What about for being white? I can’t help those either. It’s the same thing as me making fun of you for being heterosexual; Ha Ha! You’re straight! “You see that guy over there? He fucks girls.” “Oh my god, really?” “Yeah.” “Ew, that’s disgusting.” “I know, right?”
Sort of not right. So what’s with the double standard?

You’re so willing to call me names, give me labels. You, Show Offs, who make out at the back of class. You, Slut, the girl who hops from boyfriend to boyfriend every week. You, Hypocrite, the girl who points her finger at me and tells me I’m a sinner, then lies to her parents and sneaks out Saturday night to get shitfaced, showing up for service on Sunday like it’s all okay. You, Coward, the boy who gets his girlfriend knocked up then walks out on her. You, Dumbass, who thinks that just because I’m gay I must want to bang everything with a Y chromosome. You, Closetcase, the boy who kissed me behind the bikesheds when you thought no one would find out, then treats me just as bad as the rest of them the next day so that no one will look too closely at the way you act. You, Lonely, the guy who tells me that I’ll never find anyone when we all know that your only girlfriend is the internet and your left hand. You, Addict, telling me I’ll get AIDS while you suck the cancer from your cigarette.
All of you, posers, show offs, sluts, bitches, backstabbers, hypocrites and whores. The cowards, the liars, the sinners, the shame faced, masturbators and pretenders. You call me Disgusting just for being honest. But before you sling your labels at me, look in the mirror. All of you in denial, all of you, making fun of me. At least I have the bravery to be able to face myself for who I really am.  So go on, wave your double standard high, ignore your own shortcomings. My honesty is so much worse.

And so I complain. I tell the teachers. Go on, call me a nark, see if I care. It’s just another name on the list that you can throw at me. And the kind, caring teachers are just so damn supportive. They tell me to ignore you. To not let what you say get to me and to focus on my work.
It’d be a different story if a girl came to them and told them all about how she can’t walk from class to class without someone calling her a cocksucker or if she had to put up with you asking her out just for a joke, to make people laugh at her. If she had to put up with always being asked embarrassing and personal questions, being stared at like a freak on display and being made to feel uncomfortable in her own skin, people like you yelling sexual obscenities at her. …If she’d had someone threaten to rape her, because she “likes it up the ass”.
If this was happening to a girl they’d ring the alarm bells straight away. In assemblies, the principal would be fire and fury incarnate, angry lectures and reprimands for all. Your parents would be called in, you’d be punished. Everything would be done to make sure she felt safe and secure in the school.

Well excuse me for having a penis, because it seems that all I need is “ignore them” and “don’t let it get to me” and the problem goes away. Or maybe the school just doesn’t want to admit how homophobic they really are. Sweep my problems under the rug, after all, there’s only one of me The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the fag, after all. Jesus Christ! Look at the crap I get every day just for being honest enough to be myself. Are you surprised the others stay silent? If there’s anyone else out there “like me” you’ll have scared them so far into the closet they’re in goddamn Narnia!

Every day, a dozen tiny insults, a dozen nicks and papercuts. One of them I could “just ignore”. One of them wouldn’t “get to me”. But day after day, 9 till 3, Monday to Friday and before you’ve realized it, all the hell that you heap on my back will bleed me to death.

Unless I just ignore it. Unless I take the higher ground instead. So God bless the homophobes, the idiots, the teasers, the harassers and insulters. Bless your double standards, the niggers, the sluts and the retards. Bless the sinners and liars and all the other disgusting people clutching at their precious labels. Bless the teachers who turn a blind eye and pretend the problems not there. Bless the slurs, the cuts, the abuse and the wounds. And fuck you all.