I wasn't in love with the girl who's doorstep I currently stood upon. I wasn't even close with her anymore. In fact, I was pretty sure she hated me and would continue to hate me for the rest of her life. I stood there anyways, and rang the doorbell.

The mother answered. I asked for her daughter.

She came down the stairs after peeking down from her bedroom doorway. The only thoughts that graced her mind were probably those regarding the necessity of my presence at her house.

"Hi, I've just got to tell you some exciting news-- but first can you come outside? I don't like having to look up at you. I want to be on eye level with you." I spoke rather sporadicly.

"What do you want?" She demanded. I knew I had one chance to speak clearly and be very convincing. I forced myself to look into her eyes and began my speech.

"I'll tell you about my discovery, but please, just stand on the porch." I backed away and gave her room to leave the doorway. She complied and asked in a simple tone full of not but anger, "What?"

"I have found Jesus and God. My life was once empty, but now I am a complete and healthy individual! You KNOW how absolutely wrong my life was. But now I am happy. If you're wondering what I'm doing here, it's because we're doing this thing in church and I had to go tell someone about my new life and they have to be pretty godly too, so you see, I chose you."

She wasn't very responsive. "Well good for you." I needed to work harder to get her to be more receptive.

"Well you see, my life before, was absolutely wrong. I was going to hell. Do you know what hell's like? I'll tell you what it's like! In hell you are must suffer through a desperate need for love and acceptance and forgiveness and everything in between. But you'll never get any of those things. You'll be forced to 'watch as others who have led many beautiful lives receive all of the things you most dearly desire. I used to be trapped in this life of horrible sin, but now I am free because of my understanding of my sin. I am now on my way to becoming normal and forgiven! We should all repent! Now tell me, my ex-good friend, do YOU believe in Jesus!"

"Yes." She actually started to take me seriously.

"Well then tell me! Louder, tell the world! Do you believe in Jesus! Our Lord! And Savior!" I preached with enough energy to excite a high school Spanish class.

"Yes!"
"Do you believe he will saaaaaaaave your soul!!?"
"YES!"
"THEN YOU WILL BE SAVED MY FRIEND!"
"YES!!"
"Now, give me a hug!"

And she hugged me. After a couple of years where we had never spoken and never so much as looked at each other, she hugged me. She understood the power of God. With her arms around me, I could smell her distinct scent. A scent that once cloaked a shirt I had lent her. When she returned it, I couldn't bring myself to wash it. The scent remained. I wanted it to remain. I wanted her to remain. It wasn't any particular perfume or other smell. It was just the smell of her. I had never met anyone else who smelt so perfectly. The short intensity of our relationship only made me want her more. I leaned back slowly and looked into her eyes.

"Let us pray." She closed her eyes as I pretended to do the same. I began the lord's prayer, making sure her eyes were closed. With the final words and "amen" she opened her eyes into mine. I grabbed her shoulders and lightly pushed her against the wall. I kissed her hard. She barely had time to comprehend exactly what was happening. I felt her lips against mine, frozen with uncertainty. Then I backed away. I looked her in the eye one last time and smiled at her. She was still stunned. I turned around and headed back to my car.

Jesus saved me. What a joke. I'm not in love with her. I just wanted to kiss her once more, as revenge for the hell I put myself through because of her. With hope in my heart and ambition in my eyes, I left my hometown that night.