Chocolate Mess - angelcowgrl3

Chapter 1
How did we get here? Better yet, how did I get here?  It seemed only yesterday that I was happy with you, happy with the life we’ve made together.  How can I make our children understand; how can I make you understand?  I never meant for this to happen, I never meant to have my entire life change because of one person.  I can see it now though, all the signs were so clear.  Only if I had figured them out before I met you, before our two children were born.  Now the pain I’ve been going through for so many years has to be yours and theirs.  For that I am sorry.
As a girl growing up in a small town, your options for dating were rather limited.  I met Henry in High School our freshman year and we dated off and on throughout the four years.  Henry was the pick of the litter, the cream of the crop.  He could have had any girl he wanted, so I took it for granted that he chose me.  Our senior year however changed both of our lives.  I became pregnant, and both our dreams of getting out of our little town shattered.  Like expected, we got married, and a couple of years later we had our second child.
I thought I was content with the life we had. I never complained about not going to college or never getting to fulfill any of my dreams.  But there was always a part of me that never felt whole; I’d always felt that way, even before I met Henry.  I’d always done what was expected of me, granted having a child in high school wasn’t one of them, but I dealt with it.  That was exactly it, I dealt with it.  I never had truly done anything for me; I had never found out who I really was.
A couple of months ago I was working at the grocery store, like always, doing my routine chores that have been drilled into me from years of repetitive service, when something not so routine happened.  A woman about my age with caring warn eyes, had somehow managed to knock over our entire display of Halloween Chocolates.  When I found her she was on her hands and knees frantically trying to pick up the mess she had just made.  I knelt down beside her to help and that’s when it happened.  I looked into this woman’s face; her eyes absorbed me into them.  I felt something inside me I’d never felt before, something just clicked, like it was what I had been looking for all of my life, but had never found.  I found myself staring at her, feeling rather foolish because she noticed my stare.  All I could do was throw my hand out at her, dropping all the bags I had in my arm, and try to introduce myself.  She laughed and said her name was Cindy.  She kept trying to apologize for the mess, and together we managed to get the display back together.
I helped Cindy with her things to the checkout counter as she told me she was from out of town visiting her grandmother for a while.  A line had started to form behind her as we got lost in conversation.  The old lady behind her gave a little grunt, trying to get us to conclude our chatter.  I blushed and Cindy slipped something into my hand as she left the counter.  I looked at it as she walked out of the store; on the back of her receipt she had written her number and a note that said, “You only live once, take a chance and make a mess.”
That was it, that was my chance to find the missing part of me, but what it would cost I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
A week had passed before I had worked up the nerve to even punch Cindy’s number into the phone. Ok, I thought, I’m going to do it this time.  I’ve just got to get my fingers to work.  I sat there struggling with the little demon in my head; arguing that this was right, no it’s wrong, so wrong.  How is making a simple phone call wrong?  That’s all it is, a phone call, no harm in making a phone call.  One more deep breath and I managed to put her number into my cell phone. Ok, the first step is done, now all I’ve got to do is hit SEND.  Just one little button, you can do it, just push it already you wimp!
The phone rang, one two three rings, “Hello?”
Well there went my chance. I hung up my phone so fast I think I might have broken it.  I wonder if that was her cell phone that I just called.  The phone in my hang started going off to that ridiculous ring tone I have on my phone. Oh, shit! It’s her. Do I answer?
I open my phone and slowly place it to my ear, I clear my throat and with a shaky voice I hear myself say, “Hello?”
I hear Cindy’s sweet sounding voice, “Yes hi, who is this? I just received a call from this number.” There’s a long pause, my voice is gone; I can’t speak.  “Hello?” she says again.
“Yeah, hi, sorry.” I found my voice, but it was still shaking uncontrollably. “This is Jess from the grocery store.”  Did she remember me, had I waited too long to call her?
“Well, I was wondering how long it would take you to call me.”  There it was the cheerful banter that I remembered perfectly about her.
The rest of our conversation was a blur.  We talked for nearly two hours, laughing and talking about anything and everything. It felt like I had known her my entire life.  She was filling this void in my soul that I had had my entire life, but now it wasn’t so empty, I felt complete.  By the end of our two hour long conversation we had made plans to go to a club Cindy had heard about.  Being a mother of two, I never really got to go “out”.  We worked it out so Cindy’s Grandmother would watch my two kids while we were gone, and I would just tell Henry he could have the boys’ night he’s been wanting for so long.  The only thing was, it was Monday and we weren’t going to the club till Saturday. Could I really wait that long without seeing her again?